I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My feet surprised me
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