Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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