The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
