You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
