I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
