It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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