I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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