What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
