i think my mom watched the whole time
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
