Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
