Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
