they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize