Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In other news, I just burned my penis
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
