did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
