Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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