I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
