You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
