oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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