Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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