every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He did a backflip because drugs
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