Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
