Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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