I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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