I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Congratulations! We have a period
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