There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
