I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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