i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
