piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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