So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
