so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
