I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
