wrigley field is MILF paradise
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
