dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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