there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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