Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
