you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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