Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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