I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize