Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's blow job season.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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