She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
