I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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