i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
