it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
