Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she peed on how many people?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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