Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
