if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize