How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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