We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
