using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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