bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
