I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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