And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
