She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
