First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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