Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
