ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
