You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
