You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
