There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
