I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
