No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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