i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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